ANOTHER £400 MILLION UP IN SMOKE!

The Coalition is pleased to announce, that we are to add further to the £5 trillion National Debt by assisting first time buyers with their deposits. This is to keep property prices at an artificial level, in the endeavour to avoid mass negative equity. Unfortunately, this will only push the problem further up the cul-de-sac before the floodgates collapse; something which is unavoidable. The result of this ultimate calamity means that nobody gets their money back.

The exercise will also involve building on more greenfield sites, with a net result of cutting back on agricultural land. The difficulties which will ensue, due to prohibitive 'green taxes' on air traffic, on which we have to rely for fresh supplies, will mean that we can forget our 'five a day'.


SON OF FREDDIE MAC AND FANNIE MAE.