MORE WILD BIRDS THAN WOODS OR TERRY.

Throughout the winter, as is our wont, we have endeavoured to keep our local feathered friends well fed through this particularly harsh season. Apart from the obvious sparrows and robins, it is heartening to see an abundance of finches and tits. The condors however appear to be much reduced in numbers, and we haven't seen the ostrich for two seasons now. Our feed is the occasional sunflower seed, but mainly peanuts. This prompted the idea of whether or not any of these species suffer from peanut allergy. In approaching the Government for such a research project, up came the drawbridge, and a 'big downer'. Wondering what next to do, it came to me, rather like Jimmy Durante and the lost chord; just add the magic words: ' and it's effect on global warming'; before you could say Jack Robinson, the younger of the 'thoroughly modern Milibands, Minnow Marxist, is around with a Securicor van enquiring how much would suffice, "pick a number".



IT IS, AFTER ALL, TAXPAYER GB'S MONEY.