JUST ANOTHER MEDIA GAME.

Now children, following the leaders' debate, we're going to play 'Question Time'. Janet Street Porter (Quotas Corporation), what did you make of tonight's debate? 'I just saw three middle- aged men evading the questions'. JSP prefers women evading the questions. The programme therefore, having started at a low level, as ever, descended further.

The political coterie was made up of, you've guessed it, three middle-aged men. 'All Ed'(Balls), Liam 'Crafty' Fox and Vince 'I'm no Diamond' Cable. You won't be surprised who each of them picked as tonight's winner in the debate.There was an additional member of the panel, Alex Salmond. He, naturally, would like a 'hung' Parliament, in order to bribe whoever forms the next Government to give more money to Scotland. 'Crafty' on the other hand, missed the Marxist 'All Ed's' faux pas in his reply to a question on possible increases in VAT. 'All Ed' said that the Tories have a track record here; 'Crafty' missed the obvious reply, that the vast debt left by one Labour term is bad, as in '79', three terms is disaster. The real interest in viewing this childlike charade comes from the audience. They clap when there is a suggestion of a party giving away taxpayer GB's hard earned cash, but resent the thought of having to tighten their belts.

The classic line came at the very end, when Janet Street Porter thought that all the parties should get together and pull in the same direction.


OK THEN! WHOSE POLICIES ARE WE GOING TO ADOPT?